Stress, like a sink full of dirty dishes, is part of life. While we tend to want to avoid it, we must inevitably face the mess. Stress can motivate us to solve problems, achieve goals, and inspire us to learn, grow, and change. Yet when we cannot effectively manage our stress, it can lead to anxiety and even depression, compromising the quality of our lives.
Stress is a clever chameleon and shapeshifter. Day-to-day pressures like getting kids off to school and rushing to work are common. Hurt from family conflict can eat us up for months and years. Fear and anxiety seeps in from media that hook us with grim stories, crisis, and negativity. What is more, major events like a serious illness or environmental disaster can test our resolve. If left to accumulate like a drip-drip-drip in a bucket, even a small stressor like your teenager’s side-eye can overwhelm us. Luckily, there are simple and effective ways to help ease pressures. So, here are some of my favourite tips, skills and strategies to help you to keep stress in check.
Invest in a sleep ritual. Adults should get 7-10 hours of sleep per night. Set a regular bedtime and use wind-down rituals like brushing your teeth, dimming lights, and minimizing distractions. When we are tired, our adrenaline is often increased, making us more susceptible to stress. When rested, we can perform more optimally and take pressure more in stride. Invest in your rest!
Shake if off!! The more time I spend on this planet, the more convinced I am that exercise is the answer to most problems. Stress reactions increase cortisol in our bodies, leading to inflammation, activating the sympathetic system (fight-flight-freeze response). Exercise releases energy and sends signals to the mind that you are taking action. Then, your body releases serotonin, endorphins and other hormones that promote feelings of confidence and wellbeing. Choose activities that you enjoy, and just walking gives you tons of benefits.
Let That S**t Go. If you tend to dwell on past grievances and hurts, or ruminate on all your mistakes, you are likely carrying a burden of grudges and shame that can drag you down. Remember, you cannot change the past, but you can learn from it. Reflect on the lessons of your mistakes, then move on. Practice forgiving others who have hurt you. You may even try writing your emotions on a piece of paper and burn them in a fire to let go of them both figuratively and literally.
Practice mindfulness. Let’s face it, most of us are not living in the present moment. We spend more time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Mindfulness teaches us to be present and accept all that is happening with us, even unpleasant experiences. It helps us to build tolerance to all of our experiences, so we are less apt to get caught up in negative thoughts and feelings. Meditation, breath work, and yoga help us to take time for ourselves in quiet, contemplative, and restful ways.
Savour the moment. Studies show that positive experiences help us to build resilience, which can help us cope better with stress. Simply take time to savour your morning coffee. Notice the sound of birds singing, or the persistent shifting of clouds in the sky. Allow yourself to get absorbed in some of your favourite music or take time to watch children playing in a park. There is an endless array of simple pleasures which can give us a break from our worries, like small mental resets.
Do what you can do. If you are in conflict with a loved one, see what actions you can take to improve the relationship. If you find yourself in a rush every morning, set your alarm 15 minutes earlier. Act on issues that matter to you: connect with your friends, tell your partner you love them, volunteer, sign petitions, attend rallies. Small actions can make a difference and can give you a sense of purpose and meaning during stressful times.
Limit social media and the news. More and more studies are connecting the link between social media use and reduced quality of life. The experience of FOMO (fear of missing out) or comparing ourselves against an endless array of curated images are recipes for misery. Most media coverage is negative, leaving us feeling worried, anxious, angry, and unhappy. Limit your dosage!
Access blue environments. According to recent studies, being by a natural body of water calms the nervous system. This will come as no surprise to cottage goers, canoeists and boaters! Water proximity promotes physical activity and fitness, slows down your heart rate, and reduces stress hormones. Even urban landscapes that include water features can be soothing to the soul. And naturally, staying hydrated can keep cortisol levels in check, and stress levels down.
Laugh. A lot. The adage that laughter is the best medicine continues to ring true today. Laughter releases endorphins , relieves tension and can reduce anxiety. Enjoying your favourite comedy or giving yourself permission to be goofy can give you some comic relief from stressful situations. Finding some levity in ourselves and our situations can help us get through difficult times.
Reach out to others. Humans are social beings, and our connections to one another keep us happier, healthier, and more resilient. Family and friends can be go-to sources of support. In tough times, reach out and connect with those who care about you. You can also build your social supports by joining organizations that reflect your interests and needs. Engaging in therapy, coaching, and counselling is another way to access supports. Whatever your social constellation, be sure to connect with those who have your best interest in mind and who can support you.
Write it down. Putting pen to paper (or into digital media) not only helps us clarify our ideas, but also limits our mind’s tendency to ruminate. Seeing our thoughts on paper can give us space to problem-solve and get perspective. Our worries seem less daunting when we see them written down, so try journaling just before bed to support a good night’s sleep. Don’t forget to make note of the good things too, a nice reminder there are still many things for which we can feel grateful.
This list is hardly exhaustive, and there are many more ways to beat stress. What matters is what works for you. Life can be hard, so investing in stress management every day helps to build your overall health and resilience to face the challenges that come your way! You are worth your efforts.
Mindfully yours,
Holly
